


Somewhere In Between

by lionessvalenti



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Angst, Anti Fix-It, Best Friends, Fix-It, Gen, Post Season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-28
Updated: 2011-11-28
Packaged: 2017-10-26 15:17:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/284777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lionessvalenti/pseuds/lionessvalenti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>He could always hear it, the ticking metronome.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	Somewhere In Between

He could always hear it, the ticking metronome.

Steve could feel the way it worked his heart, pumping blood through his body to the steady beat. Nothing changed. There was no adrenaline left in him, nothing to get his heart racing. His body was ruled by the artifact. He was constant. _Tick, tick, tick_.

He sat on the floor of his room and leaned against the bed he didn't use. He didn't sleep any longer. He roamed the halls of the Warehouse at night like some kind of corporeal ghost. He only came back to Leena's for a change of clothes and a shower. He wasn't even sure if he needed those things anymore. They were habits he kept up.

There was a knock at the door and without waiting for a reply, the door opened, and Claudia walked into the room. "Hey, are you coming down for breakfast?"

Steve shook his head. He didn't eat, either. But that wasn't the worst part. None of it was the worst part. He looked up at Claudia and there was nothing there, like he'd been hollowed out. _That_ was the worst part. The emptiness.

"I don't know if I can keep doing this." He'd meant to smile because he smiled when he knew he was supposed to, and tell her that he'd be down in a minute to watch them eat food he couldn't smell, food that would rot inside his body if he tried to eat it, even just to keep up appearances. But other words came out instead.

The truth came out instead.

"Whoa. No, no, no, Jinksy, no," Claudia said, her eyes going wide. She stepped into the room and sat down next to him. "You can do this. You have to do this. Think about all the good you're doing for the Warehouse. You're like a super agent now."

"No, Claud, I'm not. I'm..." Steve paused, trying to find the most eloquent way to put it, but he just sighed. "I'm dead."

She grabbed his hand, and he could feel the warmth of her skin. He wasn't warm anymore. He wasn't even cold. He was hung up somewhere in between.

"You're not dead," she said. "You're walking and talking. You're not dead. A dead person doesn't do those things, okay?"

"But I'm not alive. I'm animated by the metronome, and that's it. Claud, I look at you and I don't feel anything. I can remember how I felt about you, the happiness and the gratitude, but it's like a distant memory of someone I used to know. I can't _really_ feel it anymore. I know why I should keep existing, because you want me here, but I'm not even sure if I'm me. Because everything I was isn't here anymore. I'm literally dead inside."

Claudia's eyes filled with tears, but her face was set in determination. "I already lost you once. It wasn't your time to go. We both know that."

"Maybe," Steve said. "When I was working for Sykes, watching Marcus kill people, and the things he was willing to do to get Emily Lake to talk, and I wondered how he could do it. I don't know what he was like when he was alive, if he was that cold-blooded, or if that was the downside of the metronome. Was that him or was it the artifact?"

"It was him," Claudia said. "You could never be like that."

"Do you know that? Every artifact has a dark side and that's something we definitely both know. This one keeps me alive, but what does it take away?"

"And what are you taking away if you stop it?" she asked. The tears spilled down her cheeks, but she didn't wipe them away, keeping her hands clasped around his. "Don't you know that I need you? That I still need my best friend?"

The corners of Steve's mouth turned up for a tentative smile. "I know you do," he replied. "You wouldn't have done this if you didn't, and I know that. But, Claud, I don't think I'm the same person. I think the metronome is changing me."

"You're the same person," she said with such conviction that for a moment Steve wasn't sure if he should question her. "I know you are, and you need to keep living long enough so I can prove it to you."

Steve pulled his hands away and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. He could feel her sigh of relief against his chest. He could keep it up for a little while longer. Until Claudia wasn't so fragile, or until things got worse. Until the metronome won out and he became heartless too.

Even with Claudia so close, he could still hear it, louder than ever. He'd always be able to hear it.

 _Tick, tick, tick._


End file.
